my chronicle of candies!

stuck

soul itu... apa c?
don't really understand about it. REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND!!
is it something that can be JUDGED just by what is our expression and our STYLE while we play violin.

for me, i think that soul is something that can be heard and can be felt in our heart. i MEAN... you can't just say that... a person who has a soul act like crazy hell, jumping around, and smashing, banging his violin... *ga segitunya c*
and feel like he's cool. and he's full of arrogancy...

i DON'T KNOW if that's what we called soul.
coz if it is... i will never have it. coz... you know?

and, uh-well! if u're a good senior. why don't you just ask me to practice harder or something than ask me to be arrogant... or something like that.
CONFIDENCE is important. but arrogancy... dunno!

i MEAN... it's like that. u said PERFORMANCE is important. but... i don't want to be a person who play with many smiles, many style, but... the person play sucks! i'd RATHER BE, a quiet person.
and what's wrong to be like that in band?

maybe now the definition of the band is just stuck in some prototype like peter pan or nidji or something so-called fashioned like that. WORSHIP THE STYLE... *play good? dunno...*
or... does band still have a WIDER definition than that?
more than a bunch of COOL and handsome guy, with STYLE, arrogancy, and *SOUL*

he said that soul isn't something that just fallen from the sky.
but what can we get from... being arrogant? haha... funny..

i'm really mad now. becoz it looks like i've been rejected before the result come.

the point is this.

he said i DON'T HAVE A SOUL. so i'm not compatible in the BAND. so he advice me *or shoo away me?* to the MK. so the linkback is... MK is a bunch of person who don't have a soul? i'm really DISAGREE with that!!! I think MK have a soul!!!

and, what's wrong to be extraordinary like me?
okay, okay. i'm nerd. i can't act cool. i'm not that *PRETTY* or something like that... i play violin like a statue... really can't be that ARROGANT... but... i really don't think so, that factors really support us to make a good music...


pusing...
even my teacher said i have a soul.
and he's not an amateur i think.
but... his OPINION is not as an amateur too... so i keep thinking about it...

*the only amateur is me*

GOD! I PLAY VIOLIN SO SUCKS IN HIS MIND!
will i ever be someone to replace him?
or he'll be a LEGEND forever? the unbeatable, unreachable, unreplaceable violinist?

hahaha...
BUT i won't give up!!!

LOOK AT ME! I'LL TRY AS HARD AS I CAN!!!!

I'M NOT THAT STUPID!!!!




compatible or not, beauty or not, arrogant or not, i'll still try!


uh, bodoh aku. walopun aku tau juga c. aku pasti kalah...


ah... stress! tau gak apa yang aku lakukan tadi malem? chattingan ampe jam 11. dan ***an ampe jam setengah 12. tidur? entah kapan.
he makes my life SOOOO CRAZY...
dan aku bener2 sakit hati kali inii... i feel like an idiot. a morron who plays violin like hell. etc.

I can't get out of bed today
Or get you off my mind
I just can't
seem to find a way
To leave the love behind

I ain't trippin
I'm just missing you
You know what I'm saying
You know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string
Why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything
But you just gave me lies

Every now and then
When I'm all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
Say you want me back
But you never do
I feel like such a fool
There's nothing I can do..
I'm such a fool
For you

I can't take it
What am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking
I miss you even more
And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you
It's true
I'm stuck on you

Now love's a broken record that's
Been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday
Why we got to play these games we play?

posted by fifa in candyland @ 1:00 PM